Today’s blog is brought to you by Kimberly Wright, MSN, RN, NC, a registered nurse, nurse coach, educator, and community health advocate with more than 25 years of experience across critical care, acute care, long-term care, clinical research, and public health. She serves as an adjunct clinical nursing instructor in New Jersey and is the founder of From My Heart to Yours, LLC, a holistic health and wellness nurse coaching practice focused on stroke prevention, hypertension, diabetes education, and whole-person wellness. Kimberly also serves her community through volunteer leadership in public health and local government, combining faith, education, and evidence-based care to help others live healthier, more purposeful lives.
My Story
I love Tabitha Brown’s story of authenticity. It’s a story of success, financial gain, purpose, loads of creativity, faith and family. I was fascinated that a person could gain so much simply by being themselves. However, I both admired and despised what she represented- genuineness, authenticity, grounded in faith. I was none of those things. I had worn a mask for most, if not all of my adult life and it was beginning to crack, risking my exposure….my nakedness….my shame.
My journey to becoming my authentic self began in late Fall 2023. Post COVID I had an emotional and mental breakdown. I can’t blame it completely on working in ICU during COVID. Honestly, the signs were there in 2018, when I knew I needed a bedside nursing exit plan. I had decided on academia, so I headed back to school for my master’s degree, another item on my list of To Do’s.
Emotional Fatigue
I knew I had been called to nursing; it wasn’t just a career choice for me. I knew I was a good preceptor, focused on supporting critical thinking in novice nurses; I was a good patient educator, incorporating the mind, body, spirit connection at the bedside; and I loved educating on the topic of lifestyle modifications and health prevention strategies.
My desires were coupled with bedside burnout; poor lifestyle choices, poor financial habits and deep insecurity. This all led to my diagnosis of high anxiety with mild depression, which expressed itself through panic attacks and social withdrawal.
In October 2023, convinced that I was surely having a heart attack, I drove myself to the ED. Although my blood pressure was elevated, there was no sign of a heart attack or any other physical illness. As I drove home alone and in silence, I realized that I had had a panic attack. In retrospect, I had had several panic attacks over the past few weeks.
That’s when I decided to see a mental health therapist and committed to finding the right fit for me.
Transitioning
With the help of my therapist, I discovered that I had all the things society said I should have…had achieved all of the goals my career said I should have achieved, but I had lost myself in the pursuit of it all.
Fear-Based
I was depleted of joy, my identity outside of a relationship, education and career didn’t exist. I was exhausted. I didn’t know who I was. I was lost and I didn’t know where to find me. Worst of all, I lived debilitated by fear. Fear of everything going wrong and crashing down around me. I showed up in fear most of the time. I kept up the charade of a life well-lived and it was draining the life out of me.
I wanted something different for the second half of my life. I wanted to live authentically on purpose, and with joy but I didn’t know how to do that. I partnered with a Life Coach, took that opportunity to get clarity and support on speaking up for myself without offending those I genuinely loved, and I knew loved me back. From there, my healing began.
Faith-Based
My therapist told me the definition of courage is doing the thing, even when you’re afraid. She challenged me to find myself. She challenged me to make lifestyle changes to reduce my stress load if I wanted to stay physically healthy. I became very curious about the relationship between stress and illness, which started my journey of studying the impact of chronic stress on physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health.
Finding Authenticity, Finding My Niche
Through prayer, personal devotion and a commitment to learn what God’s word said about me, layers of deception, incorrect perception, wrong assumptions, and lies were gradually removed.
I began to understand that Maslow’s most fundamental principle: Love, Belonging and Self-Actualization had never been fully established in my life. I had been constantly revisiting my past, attempting to establish this fundamental principle on my own. Instead, I was left with feelings of inadequacy, guilt and shame; leaving me empty, insecure, embarrassed and desperate.
Desperation disguised itself as dependability, high achiever, strong, and reliable- all masks to cover my shame and feelings of inadequacy.
What an uncomfortable place to be, yet, necessary for healing, wholeness and authentic presence. The Holy Spirit was speaking; I needed to do a few things so that I could hear Him and course correct:
Let Go- cut off negative influences that fed my fears and desperation
Relax- be ok with not being in pursuit of something/someone
Seek- truth that would sustain my healing and maintain my growing authenticity
I’m continuing my studies on the impact of chronic stress on physical, emotional, spiritual and mental well-being, the foundation to my nurse coaching practice.
Conclusion
Finding your authentic self is not a destination, it’s a journey…a continual process of uncovering, discovering, identifying, overcoming and enjoying what comes.
I was created by God, and He said it was good.
Thank you to Melissa W. at Point of Light Life Coaching for introducing me to the beautiful Japanese art form-Kintsugi.
Thank you to Marvin at PR4LIFE Coaching for allowing me the space to gain clarity.
Food for thought-
What would you do if you had no fear?
For more inspirational messages, evidence-based practice tips for healthier living and information about upcoming community-based, small group social health events in New Jersey hosted by From My Heart to Yours aka The People’s Nurse, please visit or follow me at:
Website: www.fmhty.com
IG: @fmhty2024
Kimberly Wright, MSN, RN, NC
From My Heart to Yours, LLC
A Holistic Health & Wellness Nurse Coaching Service
Rooted in Faith. Driven by Purpose
AI was only used in creation of the title image.
